To me, D/s is an intimate connection where some of the most sensitive spots of my personality are touched and taken care of – spots that in daily life play hidden roles or remain in the shadow. (Sorry for my non-native English).
It’s a delicate path of self-discovery and self-expansion, and those are causes of intense pleasure.
Being an s, I need to be totally confident that my D is worth my trust and will always respect me. He will understand me, my feelings and my limits. He’ll observe and imagine my reactions – to not inadvertently hurt me in ways that go beyond my consensus. I know it takes some time to adjust and earn each other’s trust.
Until now, I’ve experimented with pleasure delay and denial – but I know I could do more. I’ve always been hungry for pleasure and impatient, but I discovered that delaying my pleasure and getting it only when my partner thinks I earned it is what I really enjoy. Of course that’s not possible with everyone, but only with someone that makes me comfortable and willing to abandon my own will, body and mind.
I love when I’m capable of fulfilling the demands of such a precious person. I love to see that he expands his desires because he knows that I’ll try to keep up with them, and I’m pleased to see that he makes his appoval hard to reach – it’s a sign of confidence in my possibilities, and I’m grateful to him for that.
That’s been my start and I didn’t go much further (my partner in this exploration became unavailable) but I know I could go a long way in that direction […].